Monthly Archives: July 2008

Can I just say . . .

. . . how happy I am that my wonderful husband set up this blog for ME?? (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

OK, now that we’ve all made our peace with the truth . . . how about a cute photo for today? This is Hanna and her cousin Anna checking out the lake . . . and discussing what lurks below!

 

Potential Marine Biologists?

Potential Marine Biologists?

It’s the end of the world as we know it. . .

In case you haven’t heard, the earth is apparently getting warmer – according to the Supreme Chancellor and overall Potentate for Global Warming at the Church of Mother Earth Al Gore.

I figured since everyone else in the world has a Global Warming post on their blog, I needed to have one myself.  I have a theory though – I don’t think the world is getting hotter, I just think it is getting a bit more humid.  After all, there is a difference between a dry heat and a humid heat. .

I think blog may be a foreign word for evil… I just don’t know what language.

How do I convey convey the depth of emotion I feel towards computers from time to time?  Take tonight for example, when wordpress decided to ‘get funky’ – but only in Internet Explorer.  I was very close to pulling out my took kit (see the image) when I finally found the issue.  And now I am off to NOT post it in the forums, because if I had to search in vain and finally figure it out for myself, some other poor sap should have to do the same.  okay not really.  If you have the same issue, just email me.  I love junk mail.

Thoughts from the Deep Fried South

As a disclaimer, I was born in Ohio, but have lived in the South for the past 30 plus years.

I have often put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, head to wall to express my feelings on the subject, but none of it has really escaped – until now.

When registering for our upcoming wedding many moons ago, my then bride to be was told (in a failed effort to convince her that she desperately needed to purchase a cast iron skillet to cook me ‘cone-bread’) that you can take the boy out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of the boy.  The helpful employee then informed my betrothed that we without a doubt needed the skillet because “girl, you’re marryin a kun-tree boy”.

Hilarious to me as I have often felt that since I was born north of the Mason Dixon Line, people still look at me and wonder if I am a spy for the Union army.

In a recent chat with a buddy from the UK, when asked what it was like to live in America – particularly the South – I started my unofficial guide’ to southern living (geared towards a foreigner mind you) – it went something like this:

1.)  You must have a favorite Nascar driver.  When it doubt, shout number 3 (Dale Earnhardt Sr., God rest his soul, may he rest in peace, died on the track, his son is number 8 (put two 3’s together back to back and you get a bonafied 8).  It doesn’t matter if the driver you pick sucks – you will defend your driver’s honor to the death.
2.)  Pick an alabama SEC conference team.  Alabama and Auburn are your two choices.  You must love one and hate the other.  unless the other is playing some other non alabama team, then it is acceptable for you to like the team, but on the iron bowl day – you will defend your team to the death.

(Coincidentally – In the New King Jim Version of the ‘Southern’ Ten Commandments, these are 1 and 2)

3.)  The right to bear arms is a GOD GIVEN right, not some man given right written down on a piece of paper.  If you have an issue with that, then talk to the barrel pal.

4.)  The civil war did not end.  it just became a cold war.  A very long, very hot, cold war. And make no mistake the south will rise ‘again’.

5.)  The starbuckification of western (and thereby ‘southern’ ) society is one of the greatest achievements in modern business –  second only to walmartification.  There’s one on every bloody corner.   Three things you see when you drive down a proper Southern road, even a dirt one: walmart, starbucks, and the first baptist church(es).    Yes,  there are many first baptist churches.  Even a few second baptist churches – I am waiting for the day when i see the first baptist church on the side of a walmart with a starbucks all in one building.  Imagine: God, Country, and Coffee.  It just doesn’t get any better than that.

Don’t forget, the south coined the phrase ‘praise the lord, and pass the ammunition’

More to come I am sure.  This was where my notes ended.

P.S.  Latest greatest bumper sticker:  “Paddle faster. I hear banjos.”

Choices, choices

It is the year of choices…  

On the one hand you have the most liberal candidate in the history of the republican party, and on the other you have the most liberal candidate in the history of the democratic party.

What a choice.

At least the political humor is still alive and kicking on the net.

I had a whole lot more to say about politics, but gave out of steam about the time I started typing.

Shark week is upon us. . .

This one freaked out our oldest... lol.  Found at motifake.com

Ok – so it’s here.  Shark week.  I have often joked about this – threatening to TiVo every episode of every show that comes on the Discovery Channel for the entire week – for no other reason except that for some bizarre reason Kelly and I find it hilarious.

So on the rare occasion where I found myself flipping channels to see what was on, guess what I came across.  You guessed it.  I laughed and thought to myself “Who actually watches this – and why in the world do they dedicate an entire week to showing these poor people getting mauled and then turning to the camera and saying ‘I don’t hate the shark. It’s just doing what it does naturally.’   Several hours later (apparently I am one of those who actually watches ‘those’ shows…HA) I came to the realization that there were a LOT of people saying that.  Each of them almost had an Al Gore glaze over their eyes as they said it, and sounded vaguely like the borg from Star Trek when they spoke, but they all said the same thing except one lady who was ‘finding it difficult to forgive the shark, but trying’.

If a great white came up and took a bite out of ANY part of my anatomy, I dare say I would not be so understanding.  Granted you won’t find me swimming off of seal island any time soon, but COME ON.  A wasp stung me once and I have HATED them ever since.

“Yeah, the thing ate my leg and all, but after all, I WAS swimming in IT’s habitat, so that’s really my fault ultimately and the beastie was just doing what comes naturally, so I can’t really be mad at it.”

Uh, yes… you can.  I would not be the bigger man / fish / mammal/ whatever.

Thanks to motifake.com for the pic. .

Kids, don’t try this at home (or anywhere else for that matter)!

Today I finished Spencer’s nap mat for K4. The last time I did this was for Hanna. I was so traumatized that decided to purchase one for Emma from Pottery Barn Kids rather than make one again. It was her or me — I decided I would be much more scarred by making another nap mat than she would be if she ever realized that I didn’t actually sew her mat. It was a risk I was willing to take.

Fast forward to this year where I convinced myself that I could indeed tackle this project again. Moments in life like this are where video cameras are handy. If, for example, people did their own family “Reality TV”  rather than just videoing birthday parties and beach vacations, they would capture things like the last time I tried to make a nap mat — which would have reminded me of all the reasons I haven’t made one since.

So why is it such a torturous event you ask? The answer my friends is one word — “batting.”  Now for those of you fortunate enough not to be acquainted with this substance, let me introduce you.  Batting is used by crafty people (and desperate mothers trying to make nap mats before school starts) to create fluffy, quilted surfaces by stuffing it inbetween layers of fabric (like a sandwich) and sewing.

Therein lies the problem. 

For people with sewing machines designed for quilting (and other crafty stitching that requires the use of batting) this might not present such a challenge, but for my dainty sewing and embroidery machine . . . well, I think I owe my Viking Iris an apology (and potentially a trip to the dealer for an annual service).

If I’ve inspired you at all, I really do apologize. Really. Do yourself a favor and buy one — it almost doesn’t matter where, just do it. However, because I know that no one ever reads these warnings, instead only looking at the adorable finished product (and yes, it really is) I offer this final tip to those considering sewing a nap mat at home.  Seriously, *seriously* evaluate mounting your quilt-ready sewing machine on a ping pong table — or you will also experience the joy of wadded up fabric, fleece, batting and PINS in your lap as you sew.

Yes, I’m here to help.

                           

Get Smart…

So we saw Get Smart, and I have to say I enjoyed it.  Sorry to spoiler this for anyone, but part of the plot involves blowing up Los Angeles with a nuke – and one of the bad guys states ‘it’s a shame that we have to blow up all those movie stars’.  Terrence Stamp’s character wins the day with his reply “Yes… Whatever shall we do without their wise political advice?”

That one quote made entire movie enjoyable for me . . .