Tonight was not my favorite moment of the day. The time when I’m serving up food and receiving complaints instead of accolades from my children who apparently haven’t received enough lectures on the starving nations. Forgetting the fact that this particular infraction is punishable by all sorts of undesirable consequences, the boy squeaked out an “I don’t want THAT!” while making a face and shaking his head “NO” just to be sure I was clear on the fact that he wanted no part of the sweet potatoes made with brown sugar (for crying out loud!). Instantly sent to his room, he apparently had too much time to ponder how he would wrangle his way back into my good graces. After the meal, he came crawling up to my bed (where I was recovering from dinner with a quiet room and the tivo remote) to apologize — but instead of a traditional “I’m sorry mom” which would certainly have sufficed given the afternoon I’d had, I was treated to a far more inventive routine that went something like this.
Spencer: Mom, I’m sorry. But when I do this (the boy shook his head in imitation of his earlier crime) it really means (here he pauses for effect . . . and eyelashes . . . and freckles and . . . everything else that suckers are suckered by) THANK YOU, MOM!
Me: Yeah? (glancing into his serious little eyes with disbelief) Well, I don’t buy that for a SECOND!!
At which point the boy smacked the covers with both hands and let out a familiar “AWW MAAAAAAN!” followed by a HUGELY sheepish grin.
Yes. I’ve learned. You cannot buy a used car from this small boy. No matter what. Really. Do NOT be the next sucker! You have been warned! (And can someone tell me where they learn this stuff? Seriously! I need to find that manual quickly!)