Category Archives: Church Fun

Church provides us with an endless supply of humor caused by the kids. . .

Things you hear at our house . . .

 

. . . and perhaps at yours, you tell me. Please. I mean it.

I’d be glad to know mine aren’t the only 2 having these deep theological discussions. I’m not even sure what started it, but as I put dinner in the oven, this is the part I overheard.

Emma: No buddy, Yoda was MUCH older than Jacob.

Spencer: But Bible people were really, REALLY OLD!

Emma: Yes, buddy, but Jacob only lived to be 130 and Yoda was 900. He was MUCH older.

Yes, coming along quite nicely, their education is.

Omniscience – small boy edition

Part of our morning routine involves a brief time of “praying for the day” in the car on the way to school. One would think this event would engender feelings of good will and spirutality but as anyone with young children can testify, every moment stands alone as an opportunity for disagreement. Even prayer.

Over the years we’ve endured the ongoing debate as to the pronunciation of the word “Amen.” Then there was the fight over who would get to say THEIR teacher’s name FIRST in the order of the prayer (because that naturally made the teacher more important in the eyes of God). And lately it’s been the frustrating addition of “extra” prayers after each child has made their individual petitions. This is especially annoying to the one following the prayer dawdler because it means they need to practice the stressful virtue of patience . . .  which is in short supply at 7:22 in the morning. 

Today it was the last straw for Spencer who waited patiently for his turn until Emma Kate seemingly completed her prayer only to burst out in unison with him as he mimicked her plea of  “WAIT! I have ONE MORE PRAYER!” I struggled not to laugh but finally lost it when in the lull of Emma’s mortification I heard the boy mutter an irritated “I KNEW IT!”

I’m so glad we pray in the mornings. Goodness only knows what they’d say to each other if we DIDN’T!

Christmas Classics — cell phone edition

With the holidays approaching we’ve been spending a lot of time thinking and talking about some of our favorite seasonal memories of the kids. One that always makes me laugh is the story of Hanna’s visit with Aunt Kathryn who came over to spend some quality time around Christmas with her nieces when they were just 3 and 1.5 (or thereabouts). She and Hanna disappeared into the room and there was much laughing and talking until Aunt Kathryn emerged from the hallway in fits of laughter, retelling how she and Hanna were pretending to be Joseph and Mary (Emma always insisted on being the Angel Gabriel — don’t ask . . .) until apparently the nativity scene role-playing went something like this:

Hanna: Aunt Kathryn, let me see your phone.

Aunt Kat: OK (playing along like a good aunt), is it for you?

Hanna: (nodding and making knowing gestures akin to somone grasping the full meaning of life in this one cell phone call) Uh huh, yes, ok.

(she hangs up and hands the phone back to Aunt Kathryn)

Hanna: That was the shepherds. They’ll be here at 3.

The most amazing church service… ever.

So we sat there listening as the boy sang at the top of his lungs the first two verses of one of the more familiar songs.  At the end of it he turned to us and said ‘Hey, I did pretty good!”

Shortly thereafter he showed off his sight reading abilities by saying ‘Hey look mom, it says “Emma” on the screen!’ (It actually said Emmanuel…)

Walking out, one of the members of the procession came out in his long white robes looking quite distinguished.  The boy looked up and said “Is that God?”

What a day…

And God Smiled….

Church, a few years back. 

Skip to the end of the service, where the final hymn is sung and the audience rests in a moment of solitude, reflecting on the message, the meaning, and the moment as they await the priest’s blessing and affirmation to go into the world in peace….

Enter my little red head, caught up in the moment – with a fervor in her spirit and fire in her bones she interrupts the solitude to boldly proclaim her own message “That’s it.  The show is over!”

The church erupted in laughter, the priest struggled to give the blessing, and my wife retreated into denial and disbelief that this ‘blessed’ event had just occurred.