{"id":77,"date":"2008-07-30T08:00:06","date_gmt":"2008-07-30T13:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scottnkelly.com\/blog\/?p=77"},"modified":"2008-07-30T08:00:06","modified_gmt":"2008-07-30T13:00:06","slug":"thoughts-from-the-deep-fried-south","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/2008\/07\/30\/thoughts-from-the-deep-fried-south\/","title":{"rendered":"Thoughts from the Deep Fried South"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>As a disclaimer, I was born in Ohio, but have lived in the South for the past 30 plus years.<\/p>\n

I have often put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, head to wall to express my feelings on the subject, but none of it has really escaped – until now.<\/p>\n

When registering for our upcoming wedding many moons ago, my then bride to be was told (in a failed effort to convince her that she desperately needed to purchase a cast iron skillet to cook me ‘cone-bread’) that you can take the boy out of the country, but you cannot take the country out of the boy.\u00a0 The helpful employee then informed my betrothed that we without a doubt needed the skillet because “girl, you’re marryin a kun-tree boy”.<\/p>\n

Hilarious to me as I have often felt that since I was born north of the Mason Dixon Line, people still look at me and wonder if I am a spy for the Union army.<\/p>\n

In a recent chat with a buddy from the UK, when asked what it was like to live in America – particularly the South – I started my unofficial guide’ to southern living (geared towards a foreigner mind you) – it went something like this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

1.)\u00a0 You must have a favorite Nascar driver.\u00a0 When it doubt, shout number 3 (Dale Earnhardt Sr., God rest his soul, may he rest in peace, died on the track, his son is number 8 (put two 3’s together back to back and you get a bonafied 8).\u00a0 It doesn’t matter if the driver you pick sucks – you will defend your driver’s honor to the death.
\n2.)\u00a0 Pick an alabama SEC conference team.\u00a0 Alabama and Auburn are your two choices.\u00a0 You must love one and hate the other.\u00a0 unless the other is playing some other non alabama team, then it is acceptable for you to like the team, but on the iron bowl day – you will defend your team to the death.<\/p>\n

(Coincidentally – In the New King Jim Version of the ‘Southern’ Ten Commandments, these are 1 and 2)<\/p>\n

3.)\u00a0 The right to bear arms is a GOD GIVEN right, not some man given right written down on a piece of paper.\u00a0 If you have an issue with that, then talk to the barrel pal.<\/p>\n

4.)\u00a0 The civil war did not end.\u00a0 it just became a cold war.\u00a0 A very long, very hot, cold war. And make no mistake the south will rise ‘again’.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>5.)\u00a0 The starbuckification of western (and thereby ‘southern’ ) society is one of the greatest achievements in modern business –\u00a0 second only to walmartification.\u00a0 There’s one on every bloody corner.\u00a0\u00a0 Three things you see when you drive down a proper Southern road, even a dirt one: walmart, starbucks, and the first baptist church(es).\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Yes,\u00a0 there are many first baptist churches.\u00a0 Even a few second baptist churches – I am waiting for the day when i see the first baptist church on the side of a walmart with a starbucks all in one building.\u00a0 Imagine: God, Country, and Coffee.\u00a0 It just doesn’t get any better than that.<\/p>\n

Don’t forget, the south coined the phrase ‘praise the lord, and pass the ammunition’<\/p>\n

More to come I am sure.\u00a0 This was where my notes ended.<\/p>\n

P.S.\u00a0 Latest greatest bumper sticker:\u00a0 “Paddle faster. I hear banjos.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As a disclaimer, I was born in Ohio, but have lived in the South for the past 30 plus years. I have often put pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, head to wall to express…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[5,9],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=77"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/77\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=77"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=77"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottnkelly.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=77"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}